Media Madness At BETA
by Red Witch
Summary: Why cameras should not be allowed anywhere near BETA Mountain and the people who work there.


**The media has taken the disclaimer that I don't own any Galaxy Rangers characters and put it in the tabloids. Okay Cain is mine but everyone else…Anyway here's more fun spinning out from the Tangled Web saga. **

**Media Madness At BETA**

"Well I'm starting to understand how Commander Walsh amassed such a huge collection of empty scotch bottles in his closet," Commander Cain, the new head of BETA quipped as he addressed the Series Five Ranger Team. "So why don't we go over how a simple routine assignment turned into a complete and total mess?"

"It wasn't our fault," Doc protested. "That camera crew flew right in front of our ship!"

"We were lucky we weren't blasted ourselves when those outlaws fired on us!" Zach agreed.

"So much for an easy ambush!" Shane snapped. "We were lucky just to get a handful of those raiders!"

"We nearly get killed trying to do our jobs and save the lives of those idiots who couldn't get out of the way for a second to take a bunch of stupid pictures and this is the **thanks** we get?" Zach pointed at a headline on a paper. RECKLESS RANGERS RIDE ROUGHSHOD AGAIN!

"Look I'm not saying that those media whores didn't have any responsibility for this fiasco but you Rangers are going to have to get used to being in the spotlight," Cain told them. "Like it or not you're celebrities of a sort. I mean you did save the planet so technically you're a step above celebrities but that's besides the point. You're just going to have to learn to ignore the press."

"_Ignore_ them? How can we ignore them? Those jackals are **everywhere!**" Niko fumed. "They camp outside BETA Mountain! Whenever we go on patrol or get sent out on a mission a squad of those insects with cameras follows us!"

"It's almost impossible for us to do our jobs," Doc said. "Yesterday when you sent us to pick up that ambassador from Space Station Delta, there was almost an interplanetary incident because all those paparazzi nearly knocked him to the ground!"

"Some of them keep sneaking in here despite heightened security," Shane said. "I caught two of 'em this morning posing as mechanics trying to download information from my interceptor!"

"You didn't kill them did you?" Cain blinked.

"Nah I just hung them by their underwear from the top of BETA," Shane shrugged.

"So **that's** what that screaming is?" Cain blinked. "I've been hearing it all morning. Thought that was the alcohol. What a relief."

"This is all my fault," Shane grumbled. "Those reporters are all chasing down anything that can be connected with Commander Walsh. So of course I'm their main target!"

"It's not just you Goose," Zach said. "They want information on all of us! Our families are suffering too! I can't send my daughter back to school because there are reporters staking it out! And Billy's in the same boat!"

"One of those reporters snuck in somehow and took pictures of Jessica's science teacher making out with the janitor in the hall closet," Niko said. "And now he's in the hospital."

"Even my family is getting harassed," Doc said. "But to be fair they weren't exactly keeping a low profile in the first place. And my sister Mina's little outburst in court the other day as she tried to strangle her soon to be ex husband really got the public interested."

"I'm not saying it will be easy," Cain said. "Unfortunately even with martial law, that nutcase Premier Martin refuses to clamp down on free speech laws. And the media jackals are taking full advantage of that. So until this dies down we're all going to have to keep our wits about us and keep our mouths shut as much as possible."

"I don't think that's going to happen," Niko pointed at one of the monitors that was on in the background.

"What?" Cain turned and looked around. "Oh no…"

"Listen everyone please," Q-Ball was outside BETA speaking to reporters. "We're trying to work here. Can't you understand that?"

"What is that idiot doing out there?" Cain shouted.

"Figures, the one time he actually **leaves** the lab," Doc groaned.

"Who exactly are you?" One reporter asked Q-Ball.

"I'm Quentin Ballingsball, Head of Technical Support and head researcher here at BETA Mountain," Q-Ball said. "Call me Q-Ball for short."

"Quentin Ballingsball?" Shane blinked. "**That's** Q-Ball's **real** name?"

"I didn't even know he **had **a real name," Doc blinked.

"Well yes I am the creator of the implants the Galaxy Rangers use," Q-Ball puffed up. "And I am also the creator of nearly all of BETA's advanced weaponry and vehicles. Not to mention I am also the creator and programmer of Galaxy Ranger Buzzwang, the very first artificial life form to become a Galaxy Ranger. I guess you could say I'm his father. A very proud father."

"Oh no…" Shane had a sinking feeling where this was going. "Here it comes…"

"So you created Ranger Buzzwang to be a weapon for BETA?" A reporter asked. "Like Commander Walsh did with Ranger Gooseman?"

"No, no, no! I mean no!" Q-Ball said. "Nothing like that! I never intended for Buzzwang to be a weapon! He **wanted** to be a Galaxy Ranger! He was never forced into it like Gooseman was! I mean…"

"Where is Commander Walsh? Do you know?" Another reporter asked.

"Of course I don't know! No one knows! But we're looking for him!" Q-Ball said. "We're not gonna stop until we bring him back."

"Dead or alive?" Another reporter asked.

"Yes. No! No! I mean alive! Definitely **alive!**" Q-Ball said quickly. "We're kind of getting off track here. I wanted to talk about me…"

"Were you close to Commander Walsh?" Another reporter asked.

"Well yes we were good friends," Q-Ball said. "I did work for the man for a few years."

"Yet you had no knowledge about the Black Rose Society and Walsh's role in it?" Another reporter asked.

"No, of course not!" Q-Ball said. "We didn't know any of the deals Walsh made. Except for the one to keep Goose out of the Cryocrypt but nobody could even dream of…"

"So you're saying there was a cover up among the military of what happened at Wolf Den?" Another reporter asked.

"Uh yeah I think we all kind of found out about that," Q-Ball blinked. "Wasn't exactly that big a secret in the government. I mean Wheiner blabbed a lot of stuff to other people who talked a lot and…"

"So what you are saying is that there are more members of the Black Rose Society and traitors out there that the Galaxy Rangers haven't been able to find?" A female reporter asked.

"I didn't say that!" Q-Ball began.

"Yes you did, you **moron!"** Cain yelled. "Somebody get that idiot out of there before he completely ruins whatever credibility we have left!"

"I'll go," Zach said.

"Why you?" Shane asked.

"Because it's not a good idea if you kill him in front of the cameras," Zach said.

"Good thinking," Cain said. "Bring the idiot back here so we can kill him in private!"

"I don't know any secrets!" Q-Ball said. "I mean the whole Goose thing caught all of us off guard! Commander Walsh was always a decent guy! Or at least he seemed to be a decent guy! The worst thing we thought we did was drink a lot in his office!"

"Are you saying Commander Walsh was an alcoholic? That he stole money to support his drinking habit?" The female reporter asked.

"No! I didn't mean to imply he was an alcoholic! He's just a guy who drank a lot of expensive scotch!" Q-Ball was getting flustered. "I mean, he didn't just drink scotch all day! There were a lot of other alcoholic drinks he liked too! I mean…The guy was under a lot of pressure! He had budgets to run and…"

"So he could have been embezzling from BETA for years!" Another reporter said.

"Technically…" Q-Ball said. "But I'm sure the Commander had a reason to take that money! I mean it's not like him to do something like that!"

"You mean it's not like him to keep secrets, do something illegal and double cross his government?" A reporter asked.

"Well when you put it like that…" Q-Ball blinked. "No wait this is getting out of hand. I just wanted to talk to all of you and…I mean it's not like we aren't trying to find Commander Walsh! All I'm saying is that he's a good man who probably has one or two good explanations for what he did…Okay so he's bent the rules once or twice before. Okay maybe four to six times before but still…"

"So you're saying Commander Walsh is definitely guilty?" A reporter asked.

"No, no what I meant to say was that I'm sure Commander Walsh will be found and executed!" Q-Ball protested. "I mean **exonerated!**"

"I am going to kill him," Shane growled. "I am going…to kill him!"

"Exonerated! I meant exonerated!" Q-Ball protested as Zach dragged him away from the reporters. "Come on people you know what I meant! Okay so he did some illegal experiments and stole some money but is that any reason to convict the guy?"

"Q-Ball who are you working for? The Prosecution?" Zach shouted. "This press conference is over! No comment! And no **more** comments from you Q-Ball!"

Q-Ball soon found himself in front of some very angry rangers. "Uh hi guys," Q-Ball gulped. "Did you see me on TV?"

"Oh yeah," Doc folded his arms. "Did we ever!"

"Thanks for making my life a living hell! Oh I mean **helping** me!" Shane cracked his knuckles.

"Goose…Now Goose I know you're a little upset…" Q-Ball gulped. "A few things slipped out…Oh come on! You know I never meant anything by it! It's not like I didn't say anything everyone else didn't know! I mean…"

"Q-Ball, shut up!" Shane snarled. "I am going to kill you. You know that, right?"

"No you're **not,"** Cain said. "I outrank you. I get first crack at him!"

"That's fair," Shane shrugged.

"Q-Ball before I pass sentence on your execution…I mean punishment," Cain growled. "I just want to know what the hell were you thinking going out there?"

"Well I just wanted some attention," Q-Ball shuffled his feet.

"You got it," Doc said.

"And now you are gonna **get** it!" Shane made a fist.

"Come on Goose! I just wanted people to know who I was!" Q-Ball said. "And I was gonna even show off my new spy drones to help Earth's defense systems. Where's my remote control? I must have dropped it when…"

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

"Uh oh…" Q-Ball blinked as images of small spy drones opening fire and chasing down the press outside were shown on live television.

"That's one way to handle the media," Shane said.

BOOOOOOOOOOM!

"Wow that camera made a really big explosion," Q-Ball blinked.

"Gooseman…" Cain sighed. "I've changed my mind. **You** get first crack."

"I'd run if I were you," Niko said to Q-Ball.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!" Q-Ball ran for his life away from Shane. "GOOSE! NO! DON'T KILL ME! DON'T KILL ME!"

BOOM!

"Q-Ball made a lot of those things didn't he?" Zach blinked as he watched the footage. "And they sure pack a punch."

BOOOM!

"Oh great we just fixed that wall!" Doc groaned.

"Yeah **that **will help our image with the public," Commander Cain groaned. "Where did Commander Walsh keep his scotch again?"

"Well there goes any doubt at all that the Galaxy Rangers are not full of total nutcases," Zach groaned.

"There were people who thought that we **weren't?**" Doc asked.


End file.
